Do you ever have visions of your death? I am not trying to be morbid, I just sometimes think about dying. A lot of times it is while I am driving (What if I get into a car crash?) or traveling (What if my plane crashes on that trip without my family?). Sometimes I wonder if it will be a "good" death. Will I get killed helping someone else? Will I be martyred someday for standing up for the Truth. Will it be a stupid death like slipping on my dog's pee on the tile and cracking my head open. These thoughts lead me to think of Heaven (not so much the dog pee, but the other stuff). What will it be like? On some days I think I am sooooo ready to leave this world and move on to eternity. I realize in my heart that this world is not my home, it is just the place I live. I think my soul is sometimes homesick.
Then I think of my wife and kids. I suddenly feel selfish or sad or scared. How could I leave them? Yes, I am hear to prepare for eternity with God, but I am also tasked with making sure that they join me. I am not done yet. I love them too much and pray for as much time with them as I can get. I want to grow old with my wife. I want to watch my kids achievements and discoveries while being a safety net for them when they fall.
This life may be temporary, but it is filled with so many blessings and beauties. Sure, life can also be filled with suffering and sadness. We sometimes have to say goodbye to loved ones before we are ready, but that is really just our soul reaching for Heaven as we cling to Earth.
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