Longing

Have you ever missed someone so much it hurt? I must admit, that I do not usually "miss" people when we are apart for short periods (a few days). In those cases, we are usually apart because a set task separates us and we know that we will be back together again shortly. The task is usually distraction enough to keep my mind off of missing the person.

This weekend, my wife is on retreat. I am very excited for her. She does not often get to take a few days away from motherhood and the day to day pressures of life. Usually, when one or both of us are at a retreat we are "working"/ministering to someone else - a rewarding experience, but not the same. I was able to go on a men's retreat a few years ago with my brothers and my father. It was life changing. I hope and pray that this weekend is a wonderful experience for her and that she is able to connect with God in new and profound ways.

I miss her. Beyond that, I am longing for her.

Last night I was reflecting on this. What is different this time? The kids have been great. I think it was a record that they were all in bed by 8:30 last night. I have had plenty to do (dropping kids off and picking kids up from school, looking for work, cleaning the house, taxes, etc.). In fact, I have had to consciously take a break to write this blog. Then it struck me.

My longing for my wife, Gina, is my longing for Christ.

The Church teaches us that marriage is a sacrament - an outward sign of inward grace, instituted by Christ for our sanctification. (Catechismus concil. Trident., n.4, ex S. Aug. "De Catechizandis rudibus")

Or as author Christopher West puts it:

"Spouses not only image the love of God within the Trinity; they also image the love between God and all humanity, made visible in the love of Christ and the Church. By virtue of their baptisms, the marriage of Christians is a sacrament. That means it's a living sign that truly communicates and participates the union of Christ and the Church. (Good News About Sex and Marriage , Christopher West, p. 20)

I can't tell you how many times Gina has been the face of Christ to me. It is her love that has made the love of God more real. It is her forgiveness that has shown me the forgiveness of Christ. It is her presence that has helped me feel the presence of the Spirit.

I miss her. No, I long for her.